he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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