guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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