sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
