...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
