TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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