I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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