The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I think I sprained my soul last night
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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