I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I want a musical about memes.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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