hotel room ftw
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
