Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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