Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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