some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
