wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
