At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
