He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
