Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
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I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
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it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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