..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
