you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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