i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
