WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
