soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He had one of those small greek statue penises
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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