so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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