His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
