Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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