it wasn't lemon gatorade
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
