She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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