I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
