i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
