is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
