shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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