He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
