I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
