separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
