Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
