talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
