i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
