I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
