I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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