Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
