I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
