she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
