so explain again why im purple
no
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
