I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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