he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize