Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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