i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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