I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
