I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
