I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
