Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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