I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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