a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
