she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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