so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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