So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize