You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
