I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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