we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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