So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm always down for nudity.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
