Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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