I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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