Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
