We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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