You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize