So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
