and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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