im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Green mimosas i think yes
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
