If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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