Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
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Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize